mystic_savage

Very pleasant weekend with an unusual amount of introspection...lots of lying around on my bed in a semi-drugged state & thinking.  Some really good thinking, I think.

One thing I've decided:  it's so much easier to like whatever the weather is doing that I'm giving up my weather preferences.  I've decided I'm going to be passionately in love with summer when it's summer, with rain when it's rainy, with winter and cold when it's wintery and cold.  Every kind of weather has its fans, but I've noticed most people prefer one thing and then don't like the opposite thing.  For decades I've hated sunshine (it hurts my eyes and burns my skin (which sparkles like diamonds when I'm out in it so...but I digress)).  Every time I've gone outside into bright sunshine I've cringed and groaned and complained and sometimes that was enough to set me into an irritable mood.  But how much energy it takes to keep up that resistance!  I've decided it's not worth it.  Just easier to like the day, whatever the day is doing.

Another thing I'm trying to give up is the luxury of disliking people.  Throughout my life I've had one or two people at a time whom I just can't stand, who set my teeth on edge.  And then I get to know them over several years or through a crisis or something, and often they end up being a good friend or someone I admire a lot.  Well, right now there are two people who just put me on edge if I even see them coming down the road--they can be 50 yards away and I've conditioned myself to respond with hostility on sight.  A bit pavlovian, I guess.  So how much energy do I free up in my life if I just decide that I like everyone?  Or, if not like, if I can like most people and just stay neutral about the rest?  My strong dislikes are irrational.  This is much harder than giving up disliking the sun, but I think I can do it, or work toward.  Life is so much easier if you just accept every thing, every one, every condition for what it is.